travel burnout: a heartbreaking realization

Hey friends! Welcome back to another Soul Charging blog post. I am so happy you are here.

This week, I am going to be diving into the heartbreak of travel burnout.

I want to start by saying this is the most first world, privileged problem to have. I am so aware of that. I am so blessed to be able to travel for as long as I have been. Even though it feels like a ridiculous problem to have, I have really been struggling with it. 

I started solo traveling at the start of 2023. I began my journey in Europe,like a lot of backpackers do. I still have yet to have my south east asia era, but hopefully that will be coming once I come out of this burnout phase. 

I began in Italy and made my way to 8 more countries. I eurailed around for 9 weeks, staying in hostels, meeting new people, and having once in a lifetime experiences. I loved my first solo trip abroad, I owe so much to it. I had the courage to quit my job and pursue this life of "full time" travel. Truthfully, I thought I would consistently post travel vlogs on my tik tok and blow up as a travel content creator (this did not happen).

I came home for a couple months, did some dog sitting and cleaned hotel rooms for a little extra cash and then I was off again. This time I was traveling to South America with my childhood best friend. We traveled for 6 weeks and it was the perfect amount of time for me.

I couldn’t shake the travel bug just yet, so I came home for another 2 months and then I set off again. I came back to Europe for a 11 week long trip. I had just achieved one of my manifestations of the year, getting a Worldpackers partnership. I really wanted to see Louis Tomlinson in concert since mine was tragically canceled, so that’s why I decided to go back to Europe. I wanted to find the perfect volunteer experience somewhere over there and I needed to do this, because my savings account was dwindling. Europe isn’t the cheapest travel destination.

I found the most amazing opportunity in a small town in Switzerland. I look back at this experience so fondly. It was too perfect to explain. I was so content and was really enjoying life during this era. I wish it never had to end. I spent 6 weeks volunteering here. After this, I thought that I needed to find a visa quickly and make this my life permanently. I planned to move home and figure out what the next steps to moving abroad were.

I stayed home for longer than I had originally wanted. I spent the next 6 months working at my local brewery, saving more money for my next trip.

I bought another ticket back to Europe and this time I was going to be gone for 18 weeks. 

I chose to come back to Europe for a few reasons. For one, I am comfortable and confident in my ability to travel around this content. I know I can do it. I also have friends over here and was hoping to reunite with a few of those connections again.

I really wanted this trip to be spent in places for longer periods of time, developing community and routine. I knew I had to do some more Worldpackers experiences because I was going to be on a really tight budget, and it is also just the best way to budget travel and develop those deeper connections.

I am currently 12 weeks into this 18 week trip and I am so burnt out and it is genuinely heartbreaking for me to fully admit. Honestly the second I landed in barcelona, I was filled with this doubt of “oh my god what am I doing with my life?” I was back sleeping in hostels and making small talk with people I would likely never see again. These were things I used to love about solo travel and now I was really struggling with wanting to live that lifestyle. 

The lifestyle can be extremely exhausting. The first trip I went on, I traveled at a very fast pace.. I had a eurail pass and I was moving cities every 3-5 days. This time around, I knew I needed 4 nights at the very minimum.

I spent a couple weeks in Spain, a few days in Lisbon, visited a friend in Switzerland for another 5 days, and then it was time to spend a month in Bled, Slovenia. This month revived me. It allowed me to have routine and the community that I desired. When I left, I was heartbroken again.

On top of the travel burnout, I am autistic and that means I also deal with autistic burnout. That's fun isn’t it?! (this is sarcasm, I am crying lol) 

It is next to impossible to determine what is autistic burnout versus travel burnout for me. 

I am at a point where all I want to do is rot in my bed and my mental health is really not doing the best. I am currently 2.5 weeks into a month long worldpackers experience in Bosnia and Herzegovina. This is unlike the others I have volunteered at because I am just living alone with a 45 year old man. He has been so accommodating and kind, which was a relief because I was nervous I was going to be trafficked or something! 

I don’t have friends here, I haven't met too many people here and I spend a lot of days in bed. Truthfully, it’s what I need. I feel guilty for using my time on my trip like this, but if I've learned anything from burnout, you either take the time to rest or the universe will make you.

I have been using this time to write, redesign my website, edit videos, and I've read 7 books so far! It's not the most exciting way to spend my time and I won’t leave Bosnia knowing i have seen everything or even a fraction of what this beautiful country has to offer. It’s not ideal. I am not in a place where I wake up everyday and have a strong urge to explore. I have lost that desire for right now. I have managed to take a couple day trips to see Mostar and Sarajevo though, so that is a win. They were beautiful and it made me happy to feel that glimmer of love for travel again. 

I know when I get home I need to take a break from solo travel in the way that I have been. I want to move abroad at some point, but even that seems like it needs to be out of the cards while I regather myself. 

I am thinking of moving back to a new but somewhat familiar palace; the city closest to where I went to college. It is not my dream place, but it seems like a good option for me right now. 

When you build your personality and your life based around travel and you start to experience this burnout, it is truly heartbreaking. You feel so lost and confused about what your life path is. This is with anything though. Pivots are scary and require a leap of faith into the unknown. 

The thing about burnout is though, it doesn't last forever. I want to take a travel break now so I can come back stronger. I want to take a break so I can find that passion again. I want that strong desire to explore and see the world and in order to do that, I need a bit of a break. I want routine and community. I want a little bit of stability in my life to rest and recover. My body has been in flight or fight for a lot of the past couple of years and I think it deserves a break from this lifestyle.

Admitting this is heartbreaking, like I've said. Writing this blog post is my way of coming to terms with it all. I want to continue to grow and be in the travel space in some regard, but I need a little bit of a change of scenery and a proper homebase for a year. I want to stay involved in the travel community while I find myself a homebase, one that isn’t my childhood bedroom. It would be cool to get a job involved in travel, whatever that could be! 

The world will be ready for me once I am ready to get back out there. If you are going through travel burnout, just know you are not alone. It’s a very niche problem to have, but a valid one nonetheless. Like anything, it’s okay to take a break. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. 

Thank you all for being here with me for another blog post. I appreciate you reading my words and supporting my creative outlets. Remember to live a life that charges your soul. Talk soon, friends.

With love,

Jordan