idc, i love new years resolutions!

Hey friends! Happy New Year! I hope the end of your 2023 was full of love and presence and the start of your 2024 has been going alright. I am releasing this a week later than I had wanted, but better late than never!

Today, we are discussing all things that come with starting a new calendar year. You probably hear "new year, new me" thrown around this time every year or you hear people take the complete other side; the people who poke fun of the people who actually take new years resolutions seriously. Listen, don't be a hater, just let someone be intentional and aspire to improve their lives!! It is okay for people to want to take this arbitrary new beginning seriously. If you are wanting to start fresh this new year, give yourself grace and compassion and go after those goals! You got it:)

Don't get me wrong, I do think it is stupid to wait for a random date to change your life. Waiting for the right time to start something is a waste. You will spend your whole life waiting if you do that. Doesn't matter the context, don't wait for the right time because the right time is whenever you can start. The time will pass regardless, might as well implement change as soon as you are able to. Year after year though, I watch people set themselves up for failure. Creating an entire list of things that they want to change about their whole life, but not giving themselves any grace, if things don't go perfectly starting on January 1st.

I find myself falling into this often too. I mean, I didn't start this year off in an ideal way, but that doesn't reflect the rest of my year. At any point, you can implement something new. You can always reset.

I really do believe in being intentional about your life, creating a life that you are content with living and just taking care of your physical, spiritual, and mental health. The end of the year is a perfect check point to see what is working and what are things you would like to focus more on. View it like that!! It's just a checkpoint. On January 1st, you don't need to change your entire life and if you struggle by mid January with implementing your new habits, you are still doing great!

So yeah, I love the idea of a new year. I love taking inventory of my year, I love reflection and intentionality. This is the time of the year that I make vision boards, journal about my year, research important astrological transits of the next year, and just be aware of how I feel in my life.

I don't love celebrating this directly on January 1st though. I am someone who tracks transits daily and having a "new beginning" right in the middle of Capricorn season is just not an accurate representation of the flow of nature!

I am being so serious though... We are in a season of hibernation during this time of year. Nothing is being born in the same way in Capricorn as it is in Aries, at the beginning of the astrological new year. For me, I pretty much celebrate this reflective period from the winter solstice up until the start of our calendar year. I tend to start newer things around the astrological new year, but during this time of year, I really focus on my developing routines and comfort during the winter months. It works for me!

With all of that being said, I have some personal goals this year. I have some things I would like to work on. I have been growing to accept that I will likely always be a consistently inconsistent person. Will I ever be able to perfectly maintain a routine EVERY single day of my life? Absolutely not, and that's okay! Here are 5 things I want out of this year, things I want to focus on and pour more of my energy into.

1. cultivate community

One thing that 2023 taught me was the value of human connection. There are so many factors that go into why this area of life has been a struggle for me. For starters, autism... I mean, that alone has made me feel extremely isolated for most of my life. Never feeling like anyone would ever understand me and resenting people for that, while still maintaining this fear of allowing myself to be vulnerable enough to actually be seen.

Thankfully as I have gotten older, I have just realized that most people will not fully understand me, and that is okay. It is not necessary or normal, in fact. Wouldn't it be a little strange if your coworker knew you in the same way your childhood best friend knew you? There are levels to your connections with people, but that does not discredit the relationships you have that feel more shallow.

I value the small interactions I have with my neighbors as I walk out my door. Do they know much about me personally? Not really! I do just love existing with other humans though. Living our lives alongside each other, playing supporting roles and extras in one another's biopic.

I never thought I would say that, because social anxiety has truly been my biggest struggle in life. It has been a constant for me. Lately, I just see people as people. They are just like me, and I , them. This is such an obvious thing! I blame the anxiety and autism though. This has been hard to internalize as I have always felt so isolated from others.

I understand that I can only see life from my viewpoint, so I try and just meet people where they are at in their own lives. I don't force deep connection, if it is not there, but I value the presence of everyone I come into contact with. Out of the infinite amount of timelines, we are in the same one, at the same time, and that is really cool.

The pandemic also has f*cked up my ability to feel lonely. You might think that being safe and quarantining meant I was feeling lonely often. Wrong! In fact, it was a really necessary break and period of reflection and growth for me. I could talk about the impact 2020 had on my life forever, but to put it shortly, I did not go out at all for over a year until I got vaccinated, and then I allowed myself to make more calculated risks.

I got so used to doing everything alone. I loved it. I learned to enjoy my company, trust myself, and really value independence. Before the pandemic, I was severely depressed and in a relationship. I needed that time to just heal and pause on my life, revaluate things. I began to really pride myself on how little I needed people. I moved home after college, back to my small town, and I had zero friends. Did I care? Not at all. I went to work and had small social interactions there, and I would text my long distance friends, and that worked for me!

When I started traveling at the start of the year, I began to meet so many incredible people. People that I was having all of these once in a lifetime memories with, and I cant express how much those connections enriched my travel experience. Unfortunately, they were always fleeting connections. Sometimes those are the most beautiful moments, enjoying someone that you just happened to cross paths with for 24 hours before both going your separate ways again.

When I spent 6 weeks in Switzerland, it was one of the first times in my life that I really felt like I had found a community. Seemingly random people, but all people that I felt seen by. Not all of the connections got as deep, but I view each of them with similar levels of importance to me. I appreciated all of it. I got to be in the present moment with other human beings and that is what life should be about.

This experience opened my eyes to just how important that human connection is. It is great to be independent, but enjoying life alone is not as fruitful as enjoying life with good company. Truthfully, allowing myself to have a community of any sort is really scary and that is why it is at the top of my life this year, in terms of where I want to put more effort.

I am not making a specific resolution like "I want to make one new friend a month" or anything like that, I just want to cultivate connections, in general. I want to facetime my long distance friends more, have game nights with my parents, small gatherings with neighbors, playful banter with co workers, small talk with customers I will never see again. I view those interactions so so differently now and I just want to continue to appreciate human interaction more.

I am still me though, and if I am not able to talk, I wont!! While I want this to be focus of my year, I still want to give myself plenty of alone time to recharge and continue to respect my needs.

2. create for myself & fall in love w/ the process

When I think about who I am as a person, I would say I am creative. It might not be the first word I choose to describe myself, but it is definitely at the core of who I am. It is always interesting to hear people's perceptions of me, because this is typically not how most people would describe me. I can be a very analytical person, but I know that this can coexist with creativity.

Creativity to me is vulnerability. Creating art is one part of the process and sharing it with others is another part. Often times, the second part of the process will stop me from even wanting to put effort into the first part. I begin to judge myself through the eyes of a consumer. What will you be thinking as you are reading this blog post? How does this Youtube video come across to someone who does not know me at all? Is it necessary to even share the creative work that I do for other people? It is a really vulnerable place to be in. Not just because of that fear of rejection, but because the art itself is a reflection of your inner world as you know it.

Creativity is just as much about the idea that lives in your head as it is the physical manifestation of it. The problem with that is, the idealized version in my head, is always better. Actualizing that inspiration can be quite difficult. The final product is, of course, an important part of creating art, but the process is also equally as important. I have put so much pressure on the final product, that I haven't been enjoying the process as much.

I love writing. It has been one of my biggest hobbies and dreams since I was younger. I struggle because I don't feel like I am the greatest writer of all time. I am sure my way of narration can be nauseating for some folks! I have also been told that people love to read my writing. Technically, both things can be true. This year though, I just want to write and publish, write and publish. Build this blog. By 2025, I will have a website full of posts.

Same thing goes for videography and photography. I want to continue to learn how to edit Youtube videos and photos. Find my own editing style and what I really enjoy doing. There is so much to learn and I am willing to be a beginner at something. I am willing to be seen trying, which is often the hardest part about sharing art.

As I am writing this, I am really enjoying it and I want to be more intentional about setting aside time to do this. Not only write it, but accept it is not perfect, and post it. So, I hope you are reading this and I actually shared this with you.

3. spend less time on social media

I have always been the type of person that hates when people preach about deleting social media to improve mental health. It is one of those "easy" things that is technically in your control, but your mental health feels so out of control. You don't really believe it can help that much. For a lot of people in my generation, its hard to remember a time without social media.

I have been spending a lot less time on social media and wow... I can think clearly again. I genuinely can't stress enough how damaging it is. I get it, it is easy to want to dissociate and turn your brain off for a bit of time, life is hard. The dopamine hits are beyond addictive. Admitting I have a phone addiction is embarrassing!! I can't even brush my teeth without scrolling my Tik Tok FYP... ICK. That is a habit of the past already, and it feels so great.

By spending less time on social media, it allows for these other goals to thrive more naturally. It is really difficult to be content with my own life and fully present, if I am only consuming someone's else via a screen. I have learned that it does not really matter what content you consume, it is the fact that you are consuming it in the first place. This is my experience, of course. I am not perfect either, I obviously enjoy social media. I post all the time! To me, posting is a creative outlet, but consuming it does not absolutely nothing for me. Sometimes I learn things and I read inspirational content, but I have really been loving getting to know my brain more and be less distracted by how flashy and out of control social media makes me feel. It can be so overstimulating and I want to retrain my brain to appreciate the smaller things of life and slow down.

So I will continue to address my relationship with social media in 2024. Social media does almost nothing beneficial for my mental health, if we are being honest. I do really appreciate its ability to connect me with like minded individuals though. I hope by writing more, I can build a community of people who experience life similarly. I think social media should be used more to connect with new people, instead of a way to keep tabs on your college ex or that random kid you sat next to in high school algebra.

4. put more effort into my morning & night routines

I confuse myself daily by being someone who desperately craves routine and structure, but being physically unable to maintain it. It is very frustrating. Some days I have more energy to accomplish normal life things, while some, I struggle to get out of bed and brush my teeth. My goal for this year is to do the hard things, that make my life easier. It sucks though, because seriously, the hard things are also the same things that will improve your quality of life. I hate getting out of my warm bed in the winter to go to the gym, but my body and brain appreciates the movement.

Routine allows me to be rooted in the present moment, and I find that I really struggle with that often. My routines will start to bore me and I try and rush through everything. The truth is, having a solid morning routine is the key for success for a lot of people. To me, success just means making it through the day without having a meltdown. Regardless of your definition of a successful day, finding a routine that works for you is key.

I have heard a lot of talk on the internet about "morning menus". This is a list of habits that you can do in the morning, all beneficial to your physical or mental health. It can include journaling, meditation, going for a walk, reading a book, or no social media time. I love this idea and it is something that I have already started to implement!

I find that is beneficial for me to have different routines depending on my energy levels. I can be an extreme black and white thinker. I often think that if I cannot do every step to my routine, I should just abandon ship completely.

For example, on a high energy day, I like to do a full skincare and teeth care routine. I use all my skin cares products, take time to gua sha my face, and do some draining massages. I will oil pull, mouthwash, scrape my tongue, and floss. On low energy days, I just can't. If you struggle with mental illness, you will get it. On these types of days, I at least try and manage to just take off my makeup at the end of the night and quickly brush my teeth. On a high energy day, I will take my time cutting vegetables and frying a couple eggs to make a big breakfast. On low energy days, my go to is a Go go Squeeze and a banana.

I used to feel really guilty about living like this. I have always felt like a failure for not being able to wake up everyday and function like a normal person. Things that are non negotiables and habits most people view as second nature, can be really challenging for me. I have just gotten used to it though, and I welcome this consistent inconsistency with compassion now.

This year, I want to be more mindful of creating these routines though. They keep my mind, body, and soul healthy and while they can be hard, they are worth it.

5. live a life that charges my soul

This is at the core of everything I desire and my main resolution for the rest of my life, honestly.

I want everyday to be spent presently, observing the world, connecting with more people, expressing my creatively more boldly, and just waking up everyday with intention and love for myself. I don't plan to try and completely change my life at the start of this year. I do, however, plan to implement things that are calling to me in the present moment. I want to actively choose to do things this year that ground me in the present moment. Not everyday will be the same and this year I really want to give myself the compassion and respect to honor my needs, but also push myself to do more challenging things. I want to listen to my intuition and let it guide me to experiences that make me feel alive. I want to value every day because it is a privilege to be alive and safe. I want to make this my best year yet.

and that is it! This list leaves room for so much flexibility. My resolutions this year are not the most specific and concreate, but they make me really excited for this year. I have a good feeling, '24. Thank you all so much for reading my thoughts on New Year's resolutions and how I am hoping to be more intentional with my life! I love setting goals and I love working to improve my quality of life. If I did a decent job at writing this post, then maybe you also feel called to reevaluate your life and create some new goals. I hope you all have a safe, healthy, and present new year. Remember to live a life that charges your soul :) Talk to you next week!

with love,

Jordan